If I were to say to you
Disappear within me
Tearing the beliefs you eventually had
No regret, no sorrow, no cry
I will even forget what you once tried
Then crash at the lack of the most basic aspects of one
And you will
For you are everything that was born to die.
Cat Dying Days 01
Its very simple, little one… oh… when I was sleeping I was small, smaller, compact, if you wanna call it… ok… then awake, Im starting to take my proper form… ohh… but… but?… you know, certain things are not that, emh, big, large, ample… I am big… Im bleeding while crushing into you, its very painful… ohh, so bad… I cant be you while I am me… eh?… better said, I cant be you and I also cant be me… ahhh… thats why I am changing… I dont understand much, changing into what?… I, Im not quite sure, its all me, so I dont mind… youre not scared? sounds like something people normally would be… while would I be scared of myself? dont be stupid!… oh, ok… ahhhg… I dont feel like Im changing much, I mean, its like Im always the same.
Today is very good to walk, light rain, the street is empty, it should be like this everyday… its very nice… even the bushes have grown flowers, theres grass instead of dirt, the sky is grey, its fresh, this is so great… it would have been better if they didnt cut part of the trees to clear the way of the power lines… you know how these idiots are, they want everything easy and cheap… we could be standing here and not get wet at all… its still fine, I really love this place, Im thinking of a new name for it, catholic courses center sounds so boring… but thats what it is… nuns place v2, eh, Im terrible with names… theres actually a nuns place two blocks from here, yet no orphanage, or maybe there is, mmm… right here is the orphanage, thats why I like it so much… its still a courses center… I wish we could live here… aint it a little too much for us?… Ive been thinking of plans of this and that, but, its all boring… where exactly would we live, or just all around?… I think, at a section of the guests rooms building at the back, we isolate it or something, I dont even know, didnt I say? boring… oh, so boring… wanna hear something funny? its my last hope for this land, Im deeply hanging on it… one dude once told me that this was all fields when he was young, where the school is there was a well, and the priest making center was open for the neighbours or anybody to play in the fields… theres too many people now for that to happen, starting with lunatics as, you… oh, well, I guess it could have been worse, from the seemly endless possibilities, were very lucky… lucky! theres a two pesos coin, quickly grab it before someone comes… ok… look for more, there could be more money laying a round, a whole treasure! were rich again! and I knew I didnt have to move a finger, hahaha… nah, theres no more… keep looking… nothing, and I rather not think of the real value of this coin, its just depressive to live here… uh! look, theres going to be a mexican night at our beloved place, family oriented, some lousy mariachi, and, I wonder if these people can actually do something fun… the dinner might be nice, outside the kitchen smells good when theyre cooking, and they always make mexican food… theyre very lazy, for breakfast they make fruit, eggs, yogurt and such, I want waffles, with chocolate… theres never trash of those at the back entrance… I knew it, look at the ad, for the party is just pozole and tostadas, those women are really lazy, they need a lesson, Im not happy with them… mmm… tostadas its by far the easiest to do, they just cook the meat, and for pozole they just make a big pot for everyone… no good?… nah, I wanted enchiladas and sopes, but then they would have to serve every plate, I hate lazy people, we wont be coming… ok… plus, I dont like spending money on meat, its disgusting… and we werent going to spend 150 pesos to get bored at night, that for people like, with dates, or married, or social, or something… maybe you could sneak to a nice room and we can fall asleep, so romantic, hehehe… we could do that now without paying… no, no, no, youre too big for stealth, you have to go in with an illusion… but it will be annoying, I dont like mariachis, I dont like imitators of famous artists, I dont like popular culture, and I dont like these people, at all!… maybe we should follow the plan of you becoming one of them, a teacher should be nice, you could work for free until they really like you, which would be soon, you have the skills for it, and my personal grace… thats bothersome, I dont want to teach people about stuff I dont care about, were not even catholics, what a hell are we doing here?… you do care about the heart of the place, thats whats important, that will be the fuel of your performance, uh! look, theres going to be a young christians retire this weekend, you should go in… I do better with adults, I could never relate to young people, and were probably too old now… just hang around and say something they would say, smile and such, the point is the illusion to get in… sounds, extremely, boring… ah, you dont want to do anything!… theres nothing to do!… because of that mentality we could never own this wonderful place… we have our place already, and it is very good, we cant live in illusions, we need food and water too… you dumb mortal boy, someday Im going to eat you alive… hehehe, you know what I really dont like, these graffiti on the walls… theyre harmless, I dont think they dare to come in, it would be an excuse to get targeted by the police and such… aint ugly painting the walls enough?… not for this lazy police, which in the end might be even better cause they just abuse anyway, besides the cast system, this whole country is based on laziness, and later they complain that the drunk dude sleeping at the side of a cactus is offensive, nobody here moves a finger when they should… if we were to own the place, what could we do?… its complicated, defensive tactics are very different from offensive, you cant protect a place with the same mind as invading, cause youre attached to the place and whats around it… so, what about the graffitti dudes?… mmm, Im not sure, the normal answer would be to kill them and bury the corpses at the girls graveyard, but thats not fun, cause theyre not girls… hehehe… nah, it wouldnt be useful, nor nice, its just graffiti after all, they seem harmless… just in comparison… theres the always worth make them all be deeply scared of you, or the illusion of… would it work?… eehh, I dont think so, not in the long perspective, its a large city, a tale like that will gather too much attention of so many bored to death citizens, its the worst possible, you know how they get with “paranormal” stuff… we can make a fortune then… no, no, just relating to them is a loss, I dont want any… maybe you should curse them with having a delusion of an actress for the rest of their lives, thats a living… shut up! thats not nice to say to your beloved cousin, just because she ended up as a… uh! look, 50 cents!… yes, hahahaha… wait, its only 20, no, it is full 50… “who is made of money and is cute? its Au”… who?… me, who else? you dumbass!
Help me feed my Pigeons!
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