Storytelling Days 02 ~Cat Dying Days~ 05

The fastest he dies the better… its ok to die Mr Cat, let go already… cover him well… hes pretty stiff and coldly, I dont think he can even feel much of it… do it anyway, he must be the most comfortable, also put something for his head… mmm, thats it, the little pillow, I knew it would be useful one day… he really liked this bed when we laid him, Im glad we made it… he was kinda happy, but he is dying, he doesnt want that… he still wants to live… Mr Cat, youve been sick for so long, yet I always see you the same I ever did, you look great as when your body was full of life… Mr Cat, listen to me, is ok to let go now… is it really ok?… do you have a better idea?… eh, no… then he should die, its the dying process, the intention is to die, a shut down, its peaceful, it must happen before some organ failure and it does gets messy… ok… we didnt prepared a grave, was painful but now I regret that, we have to deal with it today, the worse day to do it… theres something worst, remember the bag of cal we had? I thought it was a bad idea to keep, so I used it… and now we need it and theres none… and there aint those stores near, its going to be complicated and tiresome… in the worst possible moment, ahg, anyway, lets deal with it later… ok.

You know, I was thinking of Charlene, she died so long ago… uh, black and tiny pomeranian… you were an awful mess but she was able to die naturally, you could have done much better but at least it happened as it should, Im glad cause otherwise it would have been very difficult to forgive myself… what about the other cats?… they left home, Im not responsible for them, I feel bad but there was nothing for me to do… yeah, I feel the same way, we told them to stay but they chose to go, Mr Cat never left for the street, I really like him for that, he is a good Mr Cat… are you feeling comfortable Mr Cat? its ok to let go.

Im so tired, I wish we had a better shape today… ah, Mr Cat, you scared me, hehe, he lifted his legs cause he wants to turn around, here we go… mmm… he did want to, he liked it… yes, I know, but its not only that… he is very calmed now… clean his nose… ok, this is better… were about to get a flu, put the coat on… today is a little fresh, I hope it doesnt rain… doesnt seems to, would be troublesome with the digging… ah, hes really dying, one never thinks about it until its actually happening… its not the first time… but now is Mr Cat, I dont care about some stranger… will be fine, he just has to die… ah! again, you scared me again, Ill turn you around… I dont think we will be changing his position again, have you noticed that hes not moving his back legs nor tail?… let me check… his front legs are cold now… yep, hes not moving, Im glad its not messy down there, its completely clean… he already went to the bathroom and he hasnt eat much lately… Im sure he likes his bed, its very nice… how annoying, they keep calling you from downstairs… well, its kinda late and I havent come down… dont go, Mr Cat may think that we care more about that naggy voice than him… sure, I wont go, Ill scream her to shut up a little later… take off your coat and put it on him… ok, aint it too heavy?… nah, its fine… I was thinking, dying process, but whats pushing it… from what we have read about cats, it must be kidney failure… so many cats die of that, I wish cats had better kidneys… I think he may have a little liver failure as well, low defenses, the flu, respiratory, heart this and that… poor little Mr Cat… its too much, thats why the dying process kicked in… I wonder if the kidney failure hurts too much… remember when we dont go to the bathroom and our head hurts?… yes… like that, but like if you never go to the bathroom… that cant be good… what do you think happens?… head keeps hurting more and more, you lose control, I guess eventually you stop breathing as well… is it painful?… yes… why?… cause I try to follow my normal activities and it just doesnt let me until I heal… what if you let go?… I guess it doesnt hurt so much, like if we keep sleeping without going to the bathroom… its the struggle that hurts so much, thats why I want Mr Cat to not panic and let it go… he seems so calmed now, Ill go quickly downstairs… we need someone to bring the cal and to make the grave, were too tired, just pay for it, I dont care today… ok, Ill go fast.

I wonder if he died… how is he?… still alive… hello Mr Cat, were back, I missed holding your leg… I really hope the dude comes home soon, for the cal give him money to buy it, but for the grave discount it from the big debt he has to you… next time we must plan it with time, making graves when its to late becomes so bothersome… I dont think he will last past noon… its seems like hes never going to die… he will, thats the problem, but its for the best… he was so happy last night, this is so fast… his leg is shaking a little, he may have some seizures, be ready… I really wanted him to die easy, ahhh!… let him move but hold his back… shall I call the vet?… you already know the answer, dont panic you fool… well, its just his legs, he will calm down soon… remember what we read, he may start chomping, its obvious, its one of his main muscles… that would be too much, ahhhh, hes chomping! what do I do?… hold his head… its ok Mr Cat, you can calm down… hug him! from the side… uuhhhh… he stopped… yep, it worked, he calmed down… laid him… yep, the bed is very nice… you did great, if you ever panic Im going to beat you up… and now we wait again… it shouldnt take much longer… he wants to hug the pillow, and bite it a little, hes now breathing through his mouth, he never did all that time he had a flu… clean his nose again… do you think he will have more seizures?… lets hope not, he really has to die now, I feel so awkward saying it… he is very clean, no blood nor other stuff, just mucus… cover him again, its ok that Josephine sleeps next to him but dont let her get over him… ok, “you stay here”, shes very stubborn… his front legs are very cold, hes not controlling them anymore… do you think he still feels them, Ive been holding his leg for a while now… its ok… uuhh, Mr Cat, you have to take it easy… his eyes are so teary, and the little pillow is all wet, better removed it and move the wet part of the blanket from under his head… his left eye is still expressive, I wonder about his right… is probably closed, hes been pressing his head to the blanket… yep, its closed, hehe, I can move you however I want Mr Cat… I dont think he can even move his closed eye… is he still conscious? he hasnt move for a while, besides his breathing mouth… I think he still is but lets check his eye, use the lamp, carefully… here it is, hello Mr Cat, Ill do this quickly… such a cute eye… he reacted, but maybe its just a reflex… the eye movement seemed voluntary, its like he reacted to you, not so much to the lamp… I really wanted him to be unconscious… hes already half gone at least, Im sure of that, his brain is not the same… hes so teary, his eyes are sunken down… it shouldnt be long, its ok to die Mr Cat, its ok to let go… whats that? oh, a mucus bubble on his mouth… pop it… yep, breath again… his tumor now is so little… and we worried so much about it, yet he happily lived for years after… to think now its so tiny and harmless… he reacts when I scratch his head, over his nose, slowly but he does… he is breathing heavily but he will die soon… its so hard to believe this is happening, kinda have to actually happen for one to believe, uh, that was a big breath… keep scratching his head… he is breathing much lower now, but keeps breathing… were nearly there… Im so glad he has calmed down, no more seizures… I felt something, check his eye again… I felt that too, so lightly through our hand… mmm… lamp and, yep… empty eyes, all grey… he is not breathing, right? its hard to tell the difference… hes dead now, he died while you were scratching his head… it finally happened… I told you this was very peaceful, its just one moment, then vanish and gone, thats why it was so important to be this way… of course… ahhh… Im sad but Im actually relieved that it all went fine, no nasty or messy stuff, he is very clean, only the drooling and the tears… you did good little one, Im proud of you… thanks… leave him there, we have so much to do… is it ok? dont we have to bury him right now?… its ok for a little while, leave him at his bed… mmm, do we have a dying process? I feel like dying today… no, but it must be somewhere… its like hes coldly sleeping with his mouth opened, I wish I could leave him there forever.

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1 Response to Storytelling Days 02 ~Cat Dying Days~ 05

  1. Pingback: About: Cat Dying Days 04-05 | AuAu Over

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