Storytelling Days 02 ~Cat Dying Days~ 10

The girl once loved him but now she wants him gone.

Little one, are you still there? I feel nothing about todays walk out, its sunny, Im tired, theres no wind, Im sleepy, neither yesterdays nor the day before, it sure is a nice and familiar setting, but I cant imagine nor think about anything, I thought regaining my body was going to be such a huge adventure, dramatic, spectacular, exciting, but nothing is really going on, youre so quiet and Im lethaaaaaargic, werent we tearing apart and crying desperately about something? I can barely remember, I dont feel anything about anyone anymore… are you still talking to me?… I havent done in a long while, I guess Im sorry not to pay attention to my pet, or whatever… whats the point? we keep saying the same sentence, you dont need a personality structure repeating everything you say… meeehhh, Im so calmed… I feel tired to feel… Im not even angry at you anymore, you lost, how many years? so what?! as long as everything works at home, Im ok… meeeeh, its not like there was much else to do back then… it wasnt that bad being a, you, you got away with a lot of stuff… yeeey… sorry that my womb vibrations got in the middle of your lustful moments… everything is yours, whatever feels better, those were not mine, I dont care about living that… meeehh… meeehh… assimilation didnt come with fireworks… nor a passion… everything is so normal… my daily routines… my activities… everything is peacefully the same… if this is the actual me without depressions and explosions… I must say that it feels very nice… I really… like my life… aint that great?… I feel nothing… wasnt that me?… I lost track of who is who… its all the same anyway… lethaaaargic… lets go home to be me… look, theres that neighbour girl… its been a while… yet I always meet her again… she still lives here… I dont like her skin but she has big breast anyway, must be terrible though… that even bigger antenna… stuck in her forehead… I guess I have to deal with her… do you think she will notice our change?… nah, shes very dumb.

Its been a loooong while, aint it little one?… shall I count the years?… no, no, I would get seriously depressed… being a small tank is suffering… its not that I dont like you at all, its just, that I cant be you and I cant be me… we always knew that… I do feel bad about it, after so much, after so, so long… time does fly, doesnt it? if you stop looking for a moment… I hate you for what you represent, and for all the stupid heartless crap… more like senseless, cause heartless sounds more like being cruel, and that would be you… things you have done, but I, it doesnt feel right to just erase you from existence, how could I possibly do that? you mean too much for me… I dont think its about me at all, you would have never allowed this life form to happen any other way, it had to be me, a soulless doll… well, yes, I needed you, but it costed us a lifetime, I stopped moving in order for you to be… was there any other way?… dead, perhaps… but were alive, what you wanted… its not that I regret about you, its about my lost life… to be honest, everything was gone anyway, we just got to live and complain about it… but youre nothing like me… really?… I get that feeling… are you talking about me or the people around me?… youre too quiet for being me… eeeeverything was your idea, every little thing, every detail, you thought it all, from the delusions to the home building and games, it was all your will, everything I have decided to do… you annoy me… no, the situation annoys you… I hate you… youre frustrated, but I think you shouldnt blame it on this new, so old life… all those years… there was nothing else, and you know it, thats why you allowed it… these discussions with you used to be the same old sayings, but not this time… Im not even me anymore, Im gone as well, its like, remember? at the end of the day, it used to be the end of the world, created again the next morning, now its the power of a, lets say, temporarily smile… a story, a game, a color, a sound… that doesnt disappear with the slumber… I do remember, how everything vanished at night, it sounds so serious, yet now I can barely recall what used to happen to my memories, everyday, for countless years… I may be gone, but there are others… dont be silly?… are you trying to make me feel better? I dont even exist… I can remember yesterday now, but, take it easy… so there are, others… Im the real master here, dont you know?… “and Ill be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you dont know, Ill be the wind, the rain and the sunset, the light on your door, to show that youre home”… ahhh, how many times I screamed at you? Im gonna miss that… really?… you did, absorbed so much poison, all these many years.


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1 Response to Storytelling Days 02 ~Cat Dying Days~ 10

  1. Pingback: About: Cat Dying Days 08-10 | AuAu Over

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